Shared Object Management (SOM)This page is dedicated to those who worked on Shared Object Management (SOM) in Somerset during 1998 and 1999.
Technical explanation of Shared Object Management, with a meaningless diagram.
Description of the phenomenon that is Shared Object Management.
SOM is much more than a piece of middleware. SOM is an entire culture. New ways of team-working were founded in its midsts. New avenues of inspiration were discovered by SOMmers, and these raised coding standards to previously unattained heights! Outdoor coffee breaks, lunch-time tours of the surrounding countryside, and - like the Fathers of Western Philosophy 2500 years earlier - symposiums (dinner parties) were all used as lively forums for discussion of pertinent SOM issues.
The following glossary of terms provides a flavour of SOM culture.
Frequently Asked Question (FAQ)
The main question frequently asked by frustrated non-team members.
Never before have so many unnecessary acronyms been spawned by so few lines of code.
CLAM - Client Lock Activity Manager
FONO - First Object Notification Observer
GUT - Grid Update Toolkit
JISOM - Joint Interactive Shared Object Management
LESBO - Locking Extensions for SOM-Based Objects
PIMP - Proxy Item Management Protocol
POLO - Primary Objects Locking Observer
SLAM - Server Lock Activity Manager
SMUT - Server Manager`s Update Toolkit
WART - Windows Application Refresh Toolkit
WHIT - Windows High-level Interface Toolkit
Become an object guru in less than 30 seconds.
The Object Guru Table was a by-product of the SOM software engineering effort. It demonstrates the power of simple teaching aids, and as such, can transform even the most inveterate Jackson Structured Programmer into an Object Guru in less than thirty seconds.
Usage: Simply pick one word from each column, string together and insert into discussion to sound like an object-oriented engineering guru.
Manager: Why is your software over budget?
Programmer: Because I was working on an "Extensible Object Toolkit" that will help the company achieve a more Integrated Modular Flexibility*.
Manager: "Er, Excellent. Have a bonus."
(*See 'Management Speak' table)
"Suddenly the management started to take me seriously" - A. N. Other Software Engineer
Coming soon.... The Definitive Programmer`s Guide! (Cover Design - Jamie Bowen)
No Business Case? No Worries! - How to get funding for your Fartware
Security through Obscurity - Future proofing your career by writing incomprehensible OO frameworks
The Software is the Documentation - User Guide
It`s Never Easy! - Handling errors in SOM (What do you mean, there are errors in SOM?)
It Just Gets Easier! - How SOM is FAD++! (no, not a fad - Fastest Application Development in the whole world, ever)
Auntie Patterns - Tips from SOM-team relatives regarding s/w development, e.g. "Keep your fluids up! - you can`t work properly if you`re dehydrated"
The Fruit Paradigm - How bananas can make you work smarter... and annoy your team leader :-)